Here at HelloBeautiful, we’re determined to make this Valentine’s Day season enjoyable for everyone, even those of us who are ‘ridin’ solo’. It’s really easy to feel lonely and desperate around this time of the year, so why not put that energy towards strengthening the relationships that mean the most to you? Not all Valentine’s day themes need to be about everlasting love and finding your one and only- spruce things up with a few ‘just because I care’ tokens.

Cards- It may seem a little “4th grade”, but go all out with Valentine cards this year. There are really cute friendship and family cards- and it’s never the wrong time to spread a little love around to those who you care about. Feeling adventurous? Design some of your own cards. Whip out your arts and crafts box and make personalized cards for those who make you smile during this time of the year.

Bake- There’s no better time than now to practice your baking skills while also gaining a leg up in some of your relationships. Try out a new cookie recipe and throw in some heart shapes and red food coloring to stick with the season. It’s fun to do and it makes for a good ‘just because’ present.

Plan Your V-day Night: No matter how you might feel, we promise that you are not the only single lady out there. Gather up your single girls (and guys!) and plan a pot-luck. Get everyone involved by having a fun night with the people that you love.

So what do you say? Save the bottle of red wine, tissues, and sad love songs for a night that’s not meant to be about expressing your happiness about your relationships. At HelloBeautiful we are interpreting Valentine’s Day as a time to remind your important people just how much you care about them. Keep yourself busy by thinking of ways to strengthen your friendships!

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In spite of the gossip and rumors of separation, Oprah and Stedman have continued to blossom in their love and support of one another. In 2010 during an interview with Jenny McCarthy, Oprah rebuffed these claims stating, “We’ve never broken up once. They’re always lies,” said Oprah, adding, “I do regret ever mentioning him” in the press.

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In the past few years, Oprah has opened up about her personal life, demonstrating that long-term couples can find happiness living non-traditional lives, without marriage and children.

Why She Loves Him: In her 2010 interview with Barbara Walters, Oprah stated of Stedman, “I don’t know of another man on this planet who could have lived this life with such dignity, such grace and such respect and humility in it and still hold his own and be his own.”  Despite Oprah’s significant fame, Stedman has maintained his own identity and remained by her side through it all.

During her appearance on the Piers Morgan Show, Oprah candidly discussed a family member selling her out to the tabloids for $20,000. In response to Stedman’s support at that traumatic time in her life, she said, “here is someone who is willing to stand in and stand up for you. And that is love.”

Why He Loves Her: Though the two rarely make public appearances together, Stedman surprised the audience by walking out on stage and paying tribute to Oprah during Part 2 of the ‘Surprise Oprah! A Farewell Spectacular.’ “It really does amaze me that I get to be around a woman who changes peoples’ lives every day and who also takes her own lunch to work,” Stedman said. “I cannot, honey, believe that a colored girl from the backwoods of Mississippi has done all that you have done … But you know what really is amazing? You have done this, sweetheart, through all of the sacrifices you have made and the humility that you have and through God’s amazing grace. I love you for making a difference in my life.”

READ: 5 Embarrassing Black Moments We Wished Never Happened

Why They Work: Again during her Piers Morgan appearance, Oprah said it best “the reason why this relationship has worked as well as it has is that we each got to define ourselves in it and not in a traditional form.”  In the early 2000s, Oprah and Stedman made a conscious effort to pull back on their public appearances together, stating that “every time we showed up in public… there’d be another exploitative story.” Maintaining their privacy and the integrity of their relationship has definitely been the keystone to their success as a couple.

Why We Love Them: Oprah and Stedman have battled it out with the media for the past 26 years, choosing to live outside of society’s norms and embracing their own definition of happiness.  Oprah once said about her relationship, “the truth of the matter is, had we gotten married we wouldn’t be together now, because in no way is this a traditional relationship.” Thus proving that happiness doesn’t have to be defined by a ring or a label.

Please help!  I’ve been going with my “fiancé” for nearly four years.  His ex divorced him five years ago (we met a year after his divorce), after they were married for 15 years. He has a now-17-year-old son with her. There were a lot of issues in his marriage and admits he was a terrible father. He had a substance and alcohol addiction problem and had difficulties holding down a job. He currently owes a LOT of back child support. He now works a fairly good job, although it’s low paying (but regular and long hours), and child support payments are deducted from his paychecks.

However, I feel his past issues with the ex are not my problem. I’ve tried to be supportive of him, even though we’ve had our own issues:  He has stolen from me and lied to me.  We’ve been in counseling and have tried to heal and I’ve tried to work with him to rebuild the trust.  Yet, he’s secretive about his relationship with the ex.

I feel it’s out of guilt that he behaves the way he does, and I feel she manipulates him because of the way he treated her in the marriage. (He may even have been unfaithful to her; I’m not sure.)  But now she’s DIVORCED from him. She shouldn’t be trying to get MY money from him. (We were living together for a year and-a-half until I kicked him out because he took money that he earned from side jobs that I found for him and gave the money to HER.)

Now he’s living with his brother and sister-in-law, sleeping in a kids’ bedroom and living like a 16-year-old with a 10 p.m. curfew. (I think this is good for him and is exactly what he needs at this point.)  His brother and sister-in-law will not put up with any crap from him. I tried not to, but he walked all over me. When he is late coming home now (past his 10 p.m. curfew), he has to sleep outside in his car. He isn’t allowed to have a key to his brother’s house.

He has asked me to let him come back and live with me. I’ve told him NO WAY. He wants to marry me, or so he claims, but he still carries on a secret relationship with the ex.

I understand that he will always have to have contact with her because of their son. BUT:  He visits with her at her house and never tells me when or what’s going on. I’ve NEVER met her, and she won’t allow me near their house. Once, we pulled up in her driveway after church (I was waiting in the car), and she came out of the house screaming and told him to get his “girlfriend” off the property and never to bring “her” near the house again or she would call the police. She won’t let me near the 17-year-old son and badmouths me to the son, whom I’ve only seen twice in the nearly four years I’ve been going with my fiancé.

How do I handle this? My fiancé is not moving toward marrying me. We’re Catholic and since both of us have been married before, in order to be married in the Church, we have to go through the annulment process. I started the paperwork process with our Church two years ago, but my fiancé won’t continue with the paperwork. It’s always an excuse. He has not been able to put any money away and is always broke. (He’s bankrupt.) He had a chance to get his bankruptcy resolved by my CPA for whom I work (free of charge) and he canceled the appointment. Now my CPA doesn’t want anything to do with him.

He still claims I’m “the love of his life” and that “one day” I will be his wife and that I’m his “wife” in his mind.

What should I do?  I do love him with all my heart, but he’s breaking my heart.

The ex won’t let go, and I feel he’s doing nothing to help the situation. Thanks for your advice. – He’s My Man

Dear Ms. He’s My Man,

Girl, girl, girl! Really? Really! Today, you’re going to bring this bull-ish to me and it’s only the middle of the damn week?!

I was cracking up reading your letter and saying to myself, “She is truly a bird. She is truly special. And, I’m talking about special ed. As a matter of fact, I’m enrolling you in my special ed classes at my Academy for Retarded Ass-Backward Women Who Don’t Know Their Ass From A Hole In A Ground.”

You have got to be out of your got damn mind to want to marry this man. You have got to be the dumbest woman living on the face of earth to even get wrapped up in this madness and drama with this man.

I’m going to list several reasons why you should not get married to him:

1.)    He has stolen from you.

2.)    He has lied to you.

3.)    You’ve only met his 17-year old son twice in four years.

4.)    He is a drug addict and alcoholic.

5.)    He is broke and bankrupt.

6.)    He is still sleeping with his ex-wife. Trust me. He is!

7.)    He is keeping secrets from you, and therefore, he is not honest or truthful, or trustworthy.

8.)    He’s living in his brother and sister-in-law’s home, with a curfew, and he has no key to the home because they don’t even trust him.

9.)    The money he earned from side jobs you helped him find he gave the money to his ex.

Finally, in order to get married you have to file annulment paperwork, which you have done, but he somehow can’t seem to finish. Thus, this means you’re not worth the time and effort. In essence: YOU MEAN NOTHING TO HIM!

Now listen here, sweetie, if every time you go out of your way to help him, and he doesn’t want to help himself, then why do you keep getting on your knees and kissing his left and right ass cheeks? Stop licking and sucking his ass. He’s not worth it.

But here’s the thing, all of you are treating him like a kid. Which he is. You’re babying him and holding his hand, and trying to get him to do the right thing. His brother is babying him and treating him like a kid. And, even his ex-wife is coddling him and manipulating him. Hmmmm, you see where I’m going with this? He’s a grown ass kid and won’t make any adult choices for himself because all of you are doing it for him. How about all of you treat him like an adult, and when he finds himself with no place to live, struggling with his finances, and he has to actually do things for himself, then hopefully his grown ass will grow the “F” up.

I’m going to wrap this up and I hope you will think for once in your life. And, I mean actually use your brain for something more intellectual other than watching Jerry Springer, Maury, and other non-academic or brain stimulating activities. How can this man actually afford to take care of you if he owes sooooo much back child support, he’s financially inept, bankrupt, and works a minimum wage job?  And, you say he says that you’re the love of his life. LMBAO! You’re actually wrong. You are the mother of his life. Don’t get it twisted. Then you ask, “What should I do?  I do love him with all my heart, but he’s breaking my heart.” Then stop. Someone can’t break your heart unless you allow them to. Stop being a doormat and letting him wipe his crusty nasty ass feet on your heart.

You go on to say, “The ex won’t let go, and I feel he’s doing nothing to help the situation.” If you know this and he’s not doing anything to help the situation, then why are you still there? Why are you hoping he will do what he’s supposed to and after five years of being with him he’s done nothing for you? I’ll wait while you ponder that. As a matter of fact, I’m going to end this and let it marinate in your thick ass brainless skull. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

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“…a woman named Laura arrived to the mansion to see Deion … but Pilar told Laura she was not welcome in the home and asked her to leave. Laura refused, and after some words were exchanged, Laura threw an object at Pilar … striking her in the eye.”

An update to the report has Pilar’s lawyer telling TMZ:

“Pilar was taken to the hospital emergency room as a result of the injuries she sustained during the assault.”

Pilar you need to get gone and move the hell out! This is not going to end well, let’s get this woman her own reality show, so she can make some money to feed her kids.

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This Rico Love produced single picks up where “The Boy Is Mine” left off. Remember they were fighting over the same man and now they’re kicking his cheating behind to the curb, telling him what belongs to them.

We love that they’re no longer competing and they’re showing what can happen when women unite. Take notes RHOA!

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The couple met at the Yale School of Drama and on an appearance on Oprah, Angela fondly remembers Courtney as tall, dark and skinny and Courtney laughs and claims he doesn’t remember Angela at all. After graduating, Angela moved to L.A. to pursue her career and Courtney hit Broadway. They randomly ran into each other in 1994, went out on a date that fell flat. But it’s a good thing they decided to go on a second date because that’s when sparks flew.

The acting lovebirds wed in 1997 and have created a foundation of friendship that allowed their relationship to stand strong against any obstacle.

Why She Loves Him: Courtney loves being able to keep Angela happy. He gets the simple concept of happy wife, happy life. In an interview with Rachael Ray, Courtney explained how he became a husband and it’s definitely something to swoon over. “It was a hard concept to get my mind around. I worked with a trainer, who was also a marriage counselor. So everyday I was being counseled and he asked me what it cost when she asked me–if we were in a car–which way do we go, to say, ‘Which way do you want to go?’ I want peace in my home. I want that smile everyday. What I had to realize was that she’s first and when the queen is happy, the land is happy.”

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Why He Loves Her: Friends first is usually the smartest route to love. Courtney maintained a friendship with Angela until one day, it just became so much more. He told PEOPLE, “We’re like old friends who all of a sudden looked up and said, ‘Hmmm …,’ Gradually it dawned on us that we like each other.”

Why They Work: Courtney and Angela have ground rules that they try to maintain in order to keep the peace in their marriage. No relationship is 100% perfect, the couple told Oprah that when they have their arguments, Angela watches her tone and the words she chooses while Courtney never raises his voice no matter what way the argument goes. “I’m putting two feet in with this one. We’re not going to be doing shows and movies together. We need to close the doors and figure our our marriage. We had to make a commitment to each other that divorce is not an option and to take it off the table.” Angela says, “He said that we would have to fight through it to get to the other end of it. It was really wonderful.”

Why We Love Them: This couple kept things old school with abstinence. This is an almost foreign concept these days. When Courtney proposed to Angela, they decided to keep their relationship out of the bedroom until their wedding night.

What “good nutrition” is, however, can be confusing. Ideas about nutrition have changed over the years. Two decades ago, we were told it was healthy to eat a “low-fat” diet. Unfortunately, in an effort to reduce unhealthy fats, people began eating low-fat processed foods. We didn’t realize then that many of those low-fat foods were laden with extra sugar. Nor did we understand the dangers of excess sugar. We know now that something we thought was good for us has contributed to health problems.

Over the past couple years, I’ve been researching the latest books and articles on nutrition. What’s touted consistently now is a diet of whole, unprocessed foods that discourage inflammation. The anti-inflammatory diet is what seems to have the most health and beauty benefits.

Dr. Oz, Dr. Howard Murad, author of The Water Secret and Dr. Jessica Wu, author of Feed Your Face, and several other doctors writing in the field of health and beauty all agree that inflammation is one of the worst offenders. They say that we promote inflammation when we eat foods that are too high on the glycemic index. And what kinds of foods are those? Foods that are high in sugar and simple carbohydrates. An anti-inflammatory diet will help to keep blood sugar levels in check, keep the skin young, and be a boon to overall health.

Here’s a list of foods synthesized from a variety of sources. Most of these are recommended by a number of specialists in the field of anti-aging. What’s great is that foods that help us stay young-looking also help us stay healthy.

Eggs. In an article in Time magazine from September of 2011 written by Dr. Oz, eggs were among the foods “vindicated,” and now considered to be part of a healthy diet. Previously thought to be detrimental because of their cholesterol content, in moderation, eggs are great because they’re nutrient dense, provide high quality protein and are not high in calories. Another doctor, Howard Murad, recommends that women eat eggs to combat “hormonal aging.” He says that eggs and other embryonic foods (seeds and beans) help women preserve optimum estrogen levels naturally.

Leafy greens. Spinach, kale, collards, romaine lettuce, etc. provide vitamin C, vitamin E, and Lutein, a nutrient that contributes to healthy, great looking skin.

Broccoli. Low in calories, and high in fiber, broccoli is a powerhouse of nutrients, including vitamin C, potassium, vitamin K, B6, folate and surprisingly, calcium.

Sweet potatoes. A good choice when you need complex carbohydrates. Rich in vitamin A, which is great for the skin and the eyes, the sweet potato is high in antioxidants (including beta-carotene), has cancer fighting abilities, and its vitamins can help boost your immune system. High in fiber, it’s an excellent addition to the diet if you’re looking to burn fat.

Mushrooms. According to Dr. Howard Murad, author of The Water Secret, Mushrooms are full of vitamins and have strong antioxidant properties and may inhibit tumor growth. Mushrooms also help prevent breakdown of collagen and elastin, helping your skin to stay firm and plump.

Tomatoes. Dr. Jessica Wu, a Beverly Hills dermatologist calls tomatoes “a skin superstar.” High in lycopene, they help protect the skin from sun damage. Eating plenty of tomatoes can help prevent wrinkles, age spots and inflammation.

Apples. They contain Phloretin, a powerful antioxidant. Phloretin neutralizes a large number of free radicals (which contribute to aging) and reduces inflammation and hyper-pigmentation.

Blueberries. Low in calories and virtually fat-free, blueberries are full of fiber, vitamins and antioxidants. These are on Dr. Oz’s “anti-aging” checklist and some studies have shown that blueberries are beneficial for the brain and can help lower the risk of Alzheimer’s Disease.

Almonds. They contain copper, selenium, zinc, healthy monounsaturated fats, and fiber. Eat them, but in moderation, due to their high caloric content. According to Dr. Wu, almonds can help in the battle against gray hair, because eating almonds has been shown to increase the levels of catalase in the body. Catalase is an enzyme that neutralizes natural peroxide. When our scalp stops making catalase on its own, our hair begins to loose its pigment.

Walnuts. Loaded with omega 3 fats, walnuts are good for the skin. They’re a good source of phosphorus, zinc, copper and thiamin. Yes, they’re high in calories, but a handful of nuts a day can actually benefit weight loss, because they can curb the appetite. Also, the fiber in nuts helps prevent the absorption of some of the calories.

Plain yogurt. The culturing process makes yogurt easier to digest than milk, so it’s a good source of calcium if you’re lactose intolerant. Yogurt contributes to colon health because of its intestine-friendly bacterial cultures, which lower the risk of colon disease.

Be wary of “non-fat” milk and yogurt. According to Dr. Oz, “When you remove all the fat from whole milk, you’re left with too high a concentration of natural sugars, which interacts like candy with your hormones, especially insulin.”

I was curious about this, and so began paying attention at the grocery store. When I looked at labels on regular plain yogurt, sure enough, the non-fat variety had a higher number of sugars. I now opt for low-fat, rather than non-fat. Some non-fat Greek yogurts did NOT have high sugar contents, so those are a good choice.

FYI, fat free foods often have added sugar to make up for the reduction in fat and good taste. Dr. Alan Lustig gave a lecture on the dangers of sugar and he credited the proliferation of low-fat foods in the American diet with higher levels of obesity and diabetes. According to Lustig it is not the fat that’s makes us fat and sick, it’s the sugar.

Salmon. Rich in omega-3s, salmon is recommended by many anti-aging specialists. Dr. Nicolas Perricone, author of The Wrinkle Cure says that eating salmon will keep your skin looking younger longer. Eating salmon helps reduce inflammation and can also help prevent heart disease, due to its high omega 3 content.

Red wine. (in Moderation, no more than 2 glasses a day) thought to raise good cholesterol and reduce the bad kind, as well as protect arteries against cholesterol-related damage. You may have heard of the benefits of Resveratrol, which red wine contains. However, according to Dr. Oz, you’d have to drink 60 liters to get the full benefits. Still, if you’re going to drink alcohol, red wine is the best choice for your health. White wine doesn’t contain resveratrol.

Dark chocolate. Eat dark chocolate in moderation (meaning no more than one oz. a day or every few days) and reap the benefits of its antioxidant content and high concentration of flavanols. Dr. Wu says that dark chocolate consumption can promote better circulation, improved skin hydration, and can help the skin resist the signs of sun damage.

Olive Oil. This is a “healthy fat” which, according to Dr. Murad will feed your brain, skin, and your cellular membranes. It’s one of the essential fatty acids that helps keep us hydrated, supple, youthful and beautiful.

Coconut oil. Another healthy fat. Previously thought to raise cholesterol, recent studies have proven that coconut oil raises the good cholesterol, while keeping bad cholesterol in check. Also, there’s new evidence that suggests coconut oil is salutary for the brain and can guard against Alzheimer’s disease and dementia.

Green tea. An excellent source of antioxidants, in particular Epigallocatechin gallate, green tea is one of the best things you can drink for health and anti-aging. It helps enhance the skin’s ability to fight sun damage. It also fights inflammation.

Oatmeal. Filling and high in fiber, oatmeal is a complex carbohydrate that can help lower cholesterol and reduce the risk of heart disease. Just be sure to eat the kind without added sugar and chemicals. You can add your own nuts, and/or fruit to make it taste good. Even if you add a sweetener, better to be able to control the amount you use, rather than consume all the extra sugar in pre-packaged brands.

Quinoa. Quinoa tastes and acts like a grain, but it’s actually a seed. It’s high in antioxidants, fiber and protein (it contains all the amino acids), and low in calories.

Of course there are many more healthy foods than those on this list, but these are the foods on the lists of a number of doctors specializing in anti-aging, and health & beauty.

A Few Foods You Should NOT Be Eating or Drinking and Why:

White bread, donuts, cookies, pastries, cakes and sugary cereals. These high glycemic foods contain trans fats and sugar, which contribute to inflammation.

According to Dr. David J Goldberg, author of Light Years Younger, these foods all contain “high-glycemic” carbohydrates, which flood the body with glucose molecules minutes after they are eaten. All these foods have been linked to decreased insulin sensitivity, which means they impair the body’s most important glucose regulating mechanism. To save your skin, favor foods low on the glycemic index.

Sodas. (Diet or regular.) Both regular and diet sodas pose health risks. A recent study showed that regular soda contributed to hard to detect fats in the organs, particularly in the liver. And the artificial sweeteners and dyes in diet soda have been linked to brain cell damage. Sodas also cause the body to draw calcium from the bones, contributing to osteoporosis.

Sugar. Processed sugar doesn’t contribute to good nutrition and too much of it can be harmful. Aside from contributing to weight gain and diabetes, excess sugar ages the skin via a process called glycation wherein harmful sugar molecules attach to the collagen and elastin in the skin and make it rigid. These molecules build up and eventually cause wrinkles. Sugar also contributes to more health issues than were previously understood. According to Dr. Alan Lustig, who gave the famed lecture Sugar: The Bitter Truth, sugar should be deemed a toxin. Fruit, which is high in natural sugar is okay, because it contains fiber which helps keep it from spiking the blood sugar level, but juice, with all the fiber removed, is less beneficial.

Low glycemic carbs include: oatmeal, whole-wheat pasta, soybeans, lentils.
High glycemic carbs (which should be avoided) include white flour, white bread, white pasta , corn, corn chips, cornflakes, processed cereals with sugar, white rice.
Low glycemic vegetables include: yams, green beans, cabbage, leafy greens, avocado, bell peppers, tomatoes, broccoli.
High glycemic vegetables include: white potatoes, carrots and parsnips.
Low glycemic fruits include: apples, pears, plums, peaches, cherries, melon, kiwi, blueberries.
High glycemic fruits include: fruit juices, bananas, mangoes and papayas.

There you have it: to eat and not to eat. It’s a lot to consider, but hopefully knowing the benefits and risks of you options can help you make good decisions about what you put in your body.

As always, wishing you good health and great beauty.

Toni Ann Johnson is the author of Vibrating Youth, available on Amazon.com as an ebook and in paperback. Follow Vibrating Youth on Twitter and Facebook.

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Bow Wow was ordered by a Tennessee court back in 2009 to pay almost $100,000 to a tour bus company for allegedly not paying his bill. The company then took the case to Georgia to try and get the court where Bow Wow lives to enforce the judgment.

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“Just finished shooting first scene ) it’s a wrap…Shooting scene 2 now…Damn they fighting already… Not me I’m a lover…Waiting to do my interview about my life and how I like the other cast members…” tweeted Maliah.

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