Listen Live
Magic Baltimore Listen Live
Magic 95.9 Featured Video

I’m learning that the most interesting time of a person’s life second to the teenage years, are the toddler years. I’d never thought about it before but living with a small, developing person magnifies how complex the mind is.

Just think, around the age of one babies begin to assert their independence. The kid’s communication skills are getting better and they’re more confident that people they’re demanding stuff from are finally “getting it.” The only issue is that there isn’t anything recorded into their brains yet so there’s no reference point for anything.

We’re dealing with a blank cassette tape here. Every experience from this point on is the result of a power struggle going on between emotion and raw instinct. Of course, reasoning skills will slowly develop, but in the meantime, you’ll have to deal with a tiny sociopath who will sell you out for a cookie without blinking.

Recently, Liam peed on the carpet and it wasn’t an accident. The boy pulled off his diaper, looked me in the eyes and watered the carpet. This wasn’t the first time either. As soon as he began walking, at some point, he’d rip off his diaper like they were break-away pants and relieve himself on the floor. After much pondering, I came up with three reasons why my son would be that guy you hated to party with because he couldn’t hold his booze.

Year One: You mean stuff comes out of both ends?

When a one-year old pees on your floor, I think it’s because watching something pour out of your body at that age is darn-right fascinating. On top of that, gravity is still the greatest show on earth.

About That Toddler Life…  was originally published on

1 2Next page »