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The Mess:

A family member has ended a relationship and the family still deals with the ex. Is this a bad thing or not?

Your Thoughts:

  • Forget the ex. They are an ex for a reason.
  • I say it depends. If you already had a relationship with that person and they didn’t do anything “wrong”, I don’t see a problem.
  • I believe once family members always family members. No one should end relationships just because there’s no longer a couple. Aunts are still aunts, nieces and nephews are still nieces and nephews, mother-in-laws and father-in-laws are still the same, additionally, friends are still friends.
  • Better for family to move on. Saves a lot of drama down the road.
  • I think that is the family’s choice. If they have a good relationship with the ex spouse, then they should be able to maintain that relationship. Just don’t invite them to big family events right away, until their family member has had time to heal.
  • Are there kids involved? Cordial is always in order.


My Thoughts:

I think the family can maintain a relationship, but it is now a different one with some boundaries. You don’t invite the ex to family functions without your family member’s okay. You may have to monitor how much you share about the family member with the ex. It is all about keeping the relationship, but making sure that you keep the family member too!