It was Open Question Night and a mom asked about whether she should tell the truth about her love, sex and relationship history to her 15 yr old or clean the stories up so that her daughter would do more of what she says than what she actually did.
Here is my answer:
It is far more effective to tell your sexual truth to your teen. Of course your stories should be age appropriate, but trust me they will be more inclined to listen and be advised by your “truth” than by some “fake” story that you want them to live. Most of the time when kids ask about your experiences they want to know that they are not alone in having questions, what your real thoughts are, what did you do when faced with this issue and what you learned and the real story is far better at answering those questions.
Don’t be scared to reveal your love wins and losses. Teens want to know that you can make mistakes and still move on. I would say tell your truth, but also convey the lesson learned. The worst thing that we can do to our kids is lie about our experiences and have them discover the lie. They respect our real experiences far more whether they are good or bad.