Slick Or Sad? Nick Cannon's "Side Dude" Joy Is A Bit Questionable

The saga of Nick Cannon and his 12 kids by six different women has been exhausting to keep up with from an outside perspective. Starting off rather normal with his first set of fraternal twins birthed by pop queen Mariah Carey in 2011 — hey, Roc and Roe! — the situation soon became staggering following the birth of 10 children between February 2017 and December 2022. Here’s a quick breakdown of the baby momma bunch:

April 2011 – fraternal twins with Mariah Carey February 2017 – son with former Miss Arizona USA and Phoenix Suns dancer Brittany Bell December 2020 – daughter with Brittany Bell June 2021 – son with Wild ‘N Out model Alyssa Scott, who sadly died at five months old. June 2021 – twin boys with former radio personality and DJ Abby De La Rosa June 2022  – son with former model and current Selling Sunset real estate agent Breana Tiesi September 2022 – daughter with former The Price Is Right model LaNisha Cole September 2022 – another son with Brittany Bell November 2022 – daughter with Abby De La Rosa December 2022 – daughter with Alyssa Scott

….whew! If that made your head spin, take a look below at what Cannon himself thinks of his current situation, as explained earlier today for the “Toxic Tuesday” segment of his new podcast platform, The Daily Cannon:     RELATED: Nick Cannon Calls Pregnant Sex A Turn-On: “It’s Magical, It’s God-Like” While the “toxic origin story” of being jaded by actress Meagan Good when they were teens and even earlier by a girl in 8th grade named Ebony is a bit hilarious, it’s his breakdown of being a proud “side dude” that has some looking side-eyed at the multimillionaire media personality. “I enjoy being a side nigga,” Cannon says of the revelation he came to during a therapy session, going on to add, “I’d rather be a side dude who knows everything than a main dude who’s in the dark.”

Love Magic 95.9? Get more! Join the Magic 95.9 Newsletter

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

Subscribe

We care about your data. See our privacy policy.

Here’s where things get a bit complicated. What Nick may or may not realize is that while majority of his children are currently toddlers — a six-year-old, two-year-old, twin one-year-olds, an 11-month-old, two separate 8-month-olds, a six-month-old and a five-month-old to be exact — the example he sets for them now will have major effects on them during their adolescence, teen years and eventually in their own adulthoods. Thankfully, we can safely assume that Mariah isn’t having it when it comes to their 12-year-old twins as he recently told The Jason Lee Show that his chart-topping ex-wife consistently lets him know not to bring “none of that bullsh*t” into her home. Tell him, MC! Overall, Nick Cannon is free to get a haircut and “impregnate the whole world” as he joked on Twitter last week (seen above), but we can only hope that he is wise enough to let his kids know the grand rule: do as I say; not as as do! Would he want the same future for any of his six daughters? How about any of his five sons settling for the “side dude life,” or impregnating random women across the Seven Seas? It’s just something to think about…that’s all, Nick.

Take a look below to see how the social media masses have been reacting to Nick Cannon and his proud “side dude” stories, and let us know if you see him more as a slick pimp or a sad simp:

 

• Nick Cannon Calls Pregnant Sex A Turn-On: “It’s Magical, It’s God-Like”
• Nick Cannon Seemingly Wants Mariah Carey Back In New Single “Alone”
• Proud Prolific Papa Nick Cannon Officially Confirms 8th Child, Expecting A Boy

1. @NickCannon , you’re such a wannabe. You aren’t dropping knowledge with this tweet. You sound like a boy in such of his manhood.

via @2AStayReady

2. Robert De Niro just had another baby at 79. Nick Cannon be like …challenge accepted.

https://twitter.com/DannieD01/status/1655980196867231744

via @DannieD01

3. Nick Cannon in a couple years

via @buymethose1x

4. this makes me think of when nick cannon said his kids were good because he has money. lol your kids are gonna miss you for birthday parties, christmas and etc because you can’t be in 10+ places at once

https://twitter.com/cumthulhu/status/1654212069812494337

via @cumthulhu

5. Nick Cannon is a biomedical hazard

via @mimijaxxx

6. At the end of the world we’re all gonna be outlived by roaches, Nick Cannon’s descendants & panda dunks.

via @ShenaeCurry

7. Toxic Luther King?!

https://twitter.com/MistaElliott/status/1655938037770256384

via @MistaElliott

8. Makes sense! Nothing wrong with being upfront if you are not monogamous.Let me know what im getting into,its the 21st Century. Lies arent necessary at this day and age.

via @SandraBhebhe

9. Seeing Nick Cannon go out like this is so sad…this wasn’t the life/career trajectory he was supposed to be on…

via @amakabot

10. At You’re BIG AGE, You Are Tweeting Stuff Like This Seriously Nick Cannon FrFr!! It’s Must Be Hard Keep Up With 15 Children’s Mothers Huh? 😂😭

via @superstarboss1